{"id":2772,"date":"2011-05-23T15:44:41","date_gmt":"2011-05-23T21:44:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ldswomenofgod.com\/blog\/?p=2772"},"modified":"2012-10-26T17:13:22","modified_gmt":"2012-10-26T23:13:22","slug":"rs-community-coming-of-age","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/2011\/05\/23\/rs-community-coming-of-age\/","title":{"rendered":"RS Community-“Coming of Age”"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is such a great idea. Thanks for sending this in!!<\/p>\n

“A few weeks ago my third daughter turned 10, and I began preparing for our Mother\/Daughter Birthday Date, which has become a \u201cComing of Age\u201d tradition in our home.\u00a0 This tradition began when my first daughter turned 10.\u00a0 She was in 4th<\/sup> grade, and the following month was the Maturation Program at school.\u00a0 I wanted her to hear it from me first, but I was scared to have \u201cThe Talk.\u201d\u00a0 So I started talking with other parents and\u00a0 reading books on the subject, and I came across a suggestion from James Dobson.\u00a0 In his book \u201cThe New Hide or Seek<\/a>,\u201d he wrote about preparing children for adolescence by taking a weekend trip with your 10-year-old to talk about becoming a teenager.\u00a0 He stressed the importance of talking not only about the physical changes, but also about emotional changes that will happen during the teen years.\u00a0 Using his suggestions as a starting point, I planned a special weekend with my daughter.\u00a0 It was such a wonderful experience for both of us that I have continued the tradition with my other daughters.\u00a0 I have had many requests over the years to share this with others, so here is an outline of our date!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0We begin by checking into a hotel, which makes my daughter feel very special.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t need to be expensive, but it shows my daughter how important she is and how important the subject of our weekend is.\u00a0\u00a0 Then after a nice dinner, we go to the temple grounds (for my first daughter we lived near the St. Louis temple, and this time we booked a hotel near the Salt Lake temple).\u00a0 At the temple, we read the\u00a0Proclamation on the Family<\/a><\/span> together, and we talk about the role of women in Heavenly Father\u2019s plan.\u00a0 After walking around the temple grounds, we go back to the hotel.\u00a0 After we change into our pajamas and settle comfortably in bed together, I give my daughter a letter<\/a> that my mother wrote to me when I was 10 years old (it is actually more like a booklet, 10 pages front and back, with pictures of my daughter or other pictures I\u2019ve found that are appropriate to the text).\u00a0 This letter talks about growing up, menstruation, and sexual intimacy.\u00a0 We read through the letter together, and we discuss any questions she may have.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0The next morning, while we lounge in bed, I give my daughter an empty basket and a copy of the American Girl book, \u201cThe Care and Keeping of You <\/a>.\u201d This is a wonderful book that discusses the many physical changes of puberty.\u00a0 There are chapters on hair care, skin care, shaving, nutrition, exercise, menstruation, etc.\u00a0 As we read the book together (skimming some sections and spending more time in others), I give her items to put in her basket (shampoo and conditioner, nail clippers and polish, face wash and acne lotion, pads and tampons, razor and shaving cream, deodorant, etc.\u00a0 \u00a0It is a lot of fun to go to the store, book in hand, and find cute things to include in her basket!)\u00a0 We usually take a break for breakfast sometime during the morning, as it takes around 3 hours for us to go through the book and talk about her growing body.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0When we finish filling up her basket, we check out of the hotel and do something fun (a movie or other activity we enjoy together).\u00a0 Then over lunch, we discuss some of the emotional changes that occur during the teen years.\u00a0 I always re-read Chapter 7 of Dobson\u2019s book, \u201cThe New Hide or Seek<\/a>,\u201d before we have this talk.\u00a0 This chapter is about preparing both parents and children for adolescence by understanding and anticipating typical changes.\u00a0 It has been very helpful to both me and my daughters to know that these changes are normal and also that they are usually temporary.\u00a0 Some topics discussed are feelings of inferiority, desire for conformity, confusion about faith and values, identity formation, fluctuating emotions, sexual fascination and fear, and increasing independence.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019ve now had this Mother\/Daughter date with three of my daughters, and it has been a wonderful experience.\u00a0 It has been a starting point for many discussions in later years as my girls have grown, and it has helped them be comfortable talking with me about changes they are experiencing. \u00a0\u00a0I hope these ideas are helpful to those who are creating their own \u201cComing of Age\u201d traditions.\u00a0 Please feel free to adopt, adapt, or expand on my ideas.\u00a0 With guidance from the Spirit, you can help your children view the changes of adolescence as an exciting time of becoming who our Father in Heaven wants them to be.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is such a great idea. Thanks for sending this in!! “A few weeks ago my third daughter turned 10, and I began preparing for our Mother\/Daughter Birthday Date, which has become a \u201cComing of Age\u201d tradition in our home.\u00a0 This tradition began when my first daughter turned 10.\u00a0 She was in 4th grade, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":2774,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[477,425,9,476],"tags":[50,24,619,242],"class_list":["post-2772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family-2","category-feature","category-motherhood","category-womanhood","tag-families","tag-modesty","tag-motherhood","tag-young-women"],"yoast_head":"\nRS Community-"Coming of Age" – Relief Society Women<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/2011\/05\/23\/rs-community-coming-of-age\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"RS Community-"Coming of Age" – Relief Society Women\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"This is such a great idea. Thanks for sending this in!! “A few weeks ago my third daughter turned 10, and I began preparing for our Mother\/Daughter Birthday Date, which has become a \u201cComing of Age\u201d tradition in our home.\u00a0 This tradition began when my first daughter turned 10.\u00a0 She was in 4th grade, and […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/2011\/05\/23\/rs-community-coming-of-age\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Relief Society Women\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-05-23T21:44:41+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-10-26T23:13:22+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/momdaughter.jpg?fit=520%2C300&ssl=1\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"520\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"300\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" 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I am a wife, mother of six, and grandmother of six. Besides enjoying my research into the history of the Relief Society, I also read voraciously, make art quilts, and volunteer for too many things. I am also working on a Creative Writing degree from BYU\u2019s online program. Most of all, I have a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ.","sameAs":["https:\/\/reliefsocietywomen.com","Jan"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/b4560d3ac362b8a8998c870558ae584a","name":"Guest","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/115ef901b29d17f95e28d30d12e93ebd9ec5953bf47156f6af5b41f1b73cb5aa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/115ef901b29d17f95e28d30d12e93ebd9ec5953bf47156f6af5b41f1b73cb5aa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/115ef901b29d17f95e28d30d12e93ebd9ec5953bf47156f6af5b41f1b73cb5aa?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Guest"},"url":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/author\/guest\/"}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/momdaughter.jpg?fit=520%2C300&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2772"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2772\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6332,"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2772\/revisions\/6332"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2774"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}