{"id":9990,"date":"2018-11-19T12:59:40","date_gmt":"2018-11-19T18:59:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/?p=9990"},"modified":"2018-11-19T13:04:59","modified_gmt":"2018-11-19T19:04:59","slug":"marriages-families-and-safe-places","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.reliefsocietywomen.com\/blog\/2018\/11\/19\/marriages-families-and-safe-places\/","title":{"rendered":"Marriages, Families, and Safe Places"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><em>A General Conference Odyssey post.<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Years ago, while teaching a Gospel Doctrine class, I was to cover <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lds.org\/scriptures\/nt\/eph?lang=eng\">Ephesians.<\/a> The first part was about marriage and the second part was the Armor of God. Who doesn\u2019t like the armor of God lesson, right? I asked a big, burly guy to help me with this part of the lesson, but first, we had to cover marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Little did I realize how much the class wanted to talk about marriage. Sadly, I didn\u2019t listen to the spirit, cutting that conversation short, so we could get to the fun armor of God part. Big regret!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Married people want to talk about marriage. The truth is we all have our struggles and we&#8217;re all just trying to figure things out.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">The world isn\u2019t helpful either. Marriage is old-fashioned, not legal in some places (if you want to do what you want). It\u2019s fluid or expendable. Sure, there\u2019s pain involved, but nothing alcohol, or an affair, can\u2019t fix.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is unique in how it views marriage. Marriage is a covenant, with everlasting promises. Going into a marriage, the couple is expected, and willing to make an eternal go of it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Barbara B. Smith speaks in the Welfare session in October 1981 of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lds.org\/study\/general-conference\/1981\/10\/a-safe-place-for-marriages-and-families?lang=eng\">A Safe Place for Marriages and Families.<\/a> She says that love and consecration are essential parts of a \u201csafe marriage.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><em>Both husband and wife are committed to helping the other achieve the fullest possible development.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">The Enquirer never seems to share stories of Hollywood couples supporting one another or sacrificing for one another. It\u2019s only about who cheated on who. On the other hand, service to one another goes a long way in overlooking imperfections in one another.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><em>A marriage made safe by both love and consecration can allow for a variety of opinions.<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Each person comes into a marriage with their own way of doing things\u2014and they are typically not the same way. I heard a temple sealer explain once that everyone comes into a marriage with their own \u201crites.\u201d It is now up to the couple to create \u201crites\u201d together, as they negotiate a variety of options between them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><em>Each child has the love and interest of both mother and father.<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">It seems that older generations often allowed for favorites to exist in families. I came from a \u201cfavorites\u201d household, but I wasn\u2019t it. When my kids were growing up, I used to say that my favorite one of them was the most obedient one at the moment. It was most important to me that all of my children felt my love. And if one child has a moment of need, isn\u2019t that an opportunity for siblings to share in the consecration?<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><em>Love and consecration establish the basis for happiness.<\/em><\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Sis. Smith refers to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.lds.org\/study\/scriptures\/bofm\/4-ne\/1?lang=eng\">4 Nephi<\/a> when there was no contention in the land. How would that be? Is it even possible in a typical household? I definitely think it can happen in moments. And those moments need to be treasured and perhaps recreated as often as possible.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">When my adult children get together there is a lot of loud talking and debating. When guests hear it, they think it sounds like contention, but it isn\u2019t at all. We are all pretty open and honest with one another. It is a safe place of honest thought, acceptance, and even forgiveness. We\u2019re realizing just how unusual that is. How grateful I am that our home has become a safe enough place where we can be expressive of our opinions, our love, and our consecration for one another.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">And even though I didn&#8217;t focus on the armor of God in this post, just for the record, no loving parent would ever suggest that it is safe to take off our armor&#8211;ever, even at home. That armor should feel to all of us like we&#8217;re being wrapped in the arms of our Heavenly parents, angels, and ancestors who are watching over us so very lovingly.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A General Conference Odyssey post. Years ago, while teaching a Gospel Doctrine class, I was to cover Ephesians. The first part was about marriage and the second part was the Armor of God. Who doesn\u2019t like the armor of God lesson, right? I asked a big, burly guy to help me with this part of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":9656,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[640],"tags":[167,50],"class_list":["post-9990","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general-conference-odyssey","tag-covenants","tag-families"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Marriages, Families, and Safe Places &#8211; Relief Society Women<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Barbara B. Smith talks about marriage and families. 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