It’s funny, when a woman tells other women to stay home and raise children, she gets blasted for it, like Sis. Beck did. When the Brethren say anything like that, they are pretty much ignored. Either way, nowadays, this is still a hot topic that gets women upset.
Eliza R. Snow said, “We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones…Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? ”
Sis. Snow is telling us to man up to our womanhood, and be true Women of God. The Brethren have reminded women over and over again that their place is in the home. Certainly, there are exceptions, but on the whole, women need to find the best way they can to obey. Elder L. Tom Perry has offered women another reminder in his recent conference address, which I hope we look at with fresh eyes.
I realize I was very lucky to stay home and raise my children, but I have to be honest, my mind (which was never very sharp) turned to jelly as I centered everything around the kids. But, I received a very special compliment from my daughter, the other day. As the children grew and started school, I began volunteering in many different places during those years, and my daughter told me how much she appreciated that example of giving service. I never realized she was watching me.
There are those women who are in a situation where they have to work. We hope their goal is to stabilize their circumstances as soon as possible. And even more importantly, receive the support of their ward sisters for added strength, encouragement, and support in raising the children. For those women who choose to leave the house, I’m afraid I don’t know what to say.
Support for one another is where we are most lacking. I’ve seen Bishops call a young mother into the Nursery, because “that’s where she is right now in her life”. Please…that’s the last place she needs to be right now. Mothers need to have a strong support group that is sensitively aware of this problem, and help her stay challenged through these draining years.
Stop fighting about it, though. As members of this Church, we know that women need to be home to raise their children, because their children need her loving, patient, wise, arms around them as they grow and develop. I know that my sacrifice, in being home when my kids needed me, paid off, and will continue to pay off over generations.
Elder Perry addresses this very thing. He recalls how his mother prepared Relief Society lessons. She grew spiritually as she studied these lessons, gaining much more knowledge and testimony than she could ever share in one class time. He recalls how he, and his siblings, benefited from this. She would teach them the extra material and they ALL grew in the spirit. Many other talks, this past conference, urged women to study, then teach their children. She grows, they grow.
Because we live in the world, all children bring interesting ideas into the home; ideas that aren’t so uplifting, but can sway a weak branch in the wind. Elder Perry says, “My siblings and I were quizzed very carefully by our mother after we had been taught away from the home to be certain the correct lessons were reaching our ears and shaping our minds.” Because mom is available to sit, discuss, and redirect these ideas, children are able to see how faith, truth, and testimony work in this world. Harried mothers just don’t have the energy to do that.
Who teaches moral values today? No one outside of the home. Even in Church, sad to say, your children may learn some questionable ideas. Parents, and especially mothers, need to be the ones to follow through with this sacred responsibility. And all the sisters in the ward should be there for one another, helping raise one another’s children as sisters, aunts, grandmothers, etc.
“There is no such thing as overpreparing to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ”, Elder Perry says, but there most definitely is the possibility of underpreparing. In Mosiah, chapter 5, King Benjamin teaches his people, who accept the gospel willingly and earnestly; they all experience a change of heart. But for some strange reason, they don’t teach their children, and their children have little understanding and refuse to believe. We are Mothers, and we can’t let that happen.
Satan will have our children if we do nothing. No one will care for our children as we will. Women have the nurturing gene. We care. Let’s stop ignoring our leaders, and whining about self-fulfillment. The Lord needs women to get the next generation on track so His work can continue forth.