This is a comment I received that offers some interesting food to digest. What do you think?

“From Sis. Beck’s “Mothers Who Know” 2007 talk:

“Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all…”

It seems to me if we are not able to fit a home “patterned after the temple” with the things we bring into our lives and the choices we make, then there needs be some “pruning”.

Sis. Ardeth Kapp, YW General President in 1990 gave the following words:

“We read about the pioneers who, in the early history of the Church, left their possessions, “their things,” and headed west. Those who were with the handcart company who would push or pull their carts into the wilderness would give much thought to what they would make room for in their wagons and what they would be willing to leave behind. Even after the journey began, some things had to be unloaded along the way for people to reach their destination. ” (Packing Your Wagon, BYU devotional address, Nov 13, 1990)

“In our season of abundance and excess, even while we are counseled to reduce and simplify, there will be a high level of frustration until we understand the value of pruning. When someone asks the question, “How do you do it all?” our answer should be, “We don’t.” We must be willing to let go of many things but defend with our lives the essentials.”

“Until we determine what is of greatest worth, we are caught up in the unrealistic idea that everything is possible.”

History has shown over and over that there will be many voices in the world that profess to know what will bring us happiness and success. I think one of the ploys that the Adversary is using today is flooding us with new theories, strategies, and things we can do to improve the lives of our families, our children, our marriages and ourselves, but each one has a cost in time, energy, and other finite resources. If we can be fooled into thinking that the more of these things we engage or take in the happier we will be, we unwittingly burden ourselves with a “traffic-jam” of things that promise to improve our lives, but in reality they just end up pushing out the essential things.

This is where faith comes into play. There are so many scientific studies that profess to help you raise your children, each using statistics and expert testimonies, as well as voices saying that the counsel to keep the house “tidy” and in order is just too much and too hard, and one shouldn’t be expected to lift such a heavy burden in this day and age. One could easily see how it would be tempting to listen to these voices instead of exercising faith and remembering the promise in 1st Nephi 3:7.

If you look at the opportunities that you would have to leave behind if you were to invest the necessary time in homemaking, I think they will fall into a few categories: Less time with your family, less time for service outside the home, and less time for yourself/ambitions.

Kathleen Slaugh Bahr has some wonderful and insightful articles (More Than Clean Windows: The Unrecognized Value Of Housework, Ensign, Oct 1985 and Family Work, BYU Magazine, Spring 2000) about how doing the work around the home together as a family actually builds stronger bonds than recreation. Sis. Beck also says “working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate”. I don’t think those opportunities can be taught in any other recreational or school setting without the foundation of them first developed at home. There are so many opportunities for meaningful discussion, singing songs, word games, telling jokes, and other bonding experiences during the very intimate work of feeding, clothing, caring for, and other things that sustain life and make the living worthwhile.

As far as the other things that would be given up, where would they rank according to Elder Oak’s talk “Good, Better, Best” (Oct. 2007) or other counsel given on eternal priorities? My guess is that each one of them would fall under a lesser priority than the sacred work in the home, (hence David O. McKay’s admonition that “No other success can compensate for failure in the home”). This is particularly difficult when asked to choose between two “good” things that seem equally important.  However, I think if we pick the “Best” and “Better” things first and we still have time for some of the “Good” things, then it may not really matter which one we pick – we will have sufficiently done those things necessary for leading our families toward salvation, so anything after that would just be icing on the cake.

One thing that women are bombarded from all sides on, (including within the culture of the Church as well) is the importance of talents and creativity. There are whole social circles who highly value (and almost worship) all things creative, and place the seemingly less rewarding things such as homemaking and keeping an orderly and tidy home below such pursuits as crafting, singing, liberal arts, talent development, etc.,(even Sis. Beck states those things as simple “Nice-to-do” instead of essential or necessary in the 2010 BYU Woman’s Conference). Contrast this philosophy with the following words from the apostles:

“A wise woman renews herself. In proper season, she develops her talents and continues her education. … A woman teaches priorities by precept and example.” (Elder Russell M. Nelson – Nov 1989 Ensign)

“By the same token, a woman’s righteous and appropriate desires to grow, to develop, and to magnify her talents … also have their extreme manifestations, which can lead to attempts to preempt priesthood leadership, to the advocacy of ideas out of harmony with Church doctrine, or even to the abandonment of family responsibilities.” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks – Oct 1994 Ensign)

“The Book of Ecclesiastes says: ‘To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.’ (Eccl. 3:1.) … The various roles of women have not decreased a woman’s responsibility. While these roles are challenging, the central roles of wife and mother remain in the soul and cry out to be satisfied. It is in the soul to want to love and be loved by a good man and to be able to respond to the God-given, deepest feelings of womanhood—those of being a mother and nurturer.” (Elder James E. Faust – Sept 1986 Ensign)

There are also voices in the world that profess that unless we fight for our physical, emotional, social, mental, and monetary needs, then we will be doomed to a life of misery, poverty, loneliness, and depression.  Basically, if we don’t watch out for ourselves, no one else will and we will suffer horribly forever.  They try to convince us that we deserve to be healthy and “secure” in all these aspects, even if that means that we have to shirk our divine and seemingly mundane and unfulfilling duties.  The world professes “if you’re unhappy, do something you like to do, no matter the cost”. The Lord teaches us to that His grace is sufficient for our daily needs, and beckons us to open our eyes to see things as they really are, and with such awareness open up the floodgates of gratitude for the ways that he sustains us, even lending every breath to us minute-by-minute.

Once again, fear and faith cannot co-exist, as long as we harbor the fear of not having enough. We will be in essence fulfilling our own prophecy because we will not have enough faith to trust in the Lord that he will provide for what we really need, and when we turn from the Lord then we will always be lonely, longing, and lustful.

I think everyone has to look at their actions, pursuits, ambitions, goals, values, and desires, and ask themselves a few hard questions:

• Is what I am engaging in now, (no matter how popular it may be, how much I enjoy it, or how many other good people I see doing it), the best thing for me to be doing in this “season” of my life?
• Do I know what the Lord says is the best thing for me to be doing in this “season” of my life?
• Am I making my choices of how to raise my family based on the advice of secular experts who have science and experiments on their side, or am I walking into the “darkness” and exercising the faith to follow the Lord’s commandments even if he doesn’t have any published and peer-reviewed evidence based studies in child psychology magazines?
• Am I making exceptions for my situation / circumstances / trials, or am I—fully—consecrating my time / talents / resources and being diligent in all things, no matter how I foresee the outcome?
• Am I unwilling to “sacrifice all things” as was the young prince in the book of Matthew when he asked how he could follow Christ, but fell away because he couldn’t let go of his riches / social status / opportunities in order to gain salvation?
• Do I—really—trust in the Lord that he will sustain me day-by-day, minute-by-minute, so much so that I am willing to let go of my “Pint of Creme”, or do I cling to it as some sort of insurance policy against things I have been taught to be afraid of?

Another way to think about it is when we go “Beyond the Mark” in some things, we misappropriate our limited resources to that which won’t bear enough “good fruit” to justify the cost, and we only have enough left to be “Lukewarm” in others.”

I think everyone understands we each need to find our own way, but as we carefully consider the ideal, we hopefully will choose to incorporate all we can toward that ideal.